Self-confidence is one of those byproducts of meditation that few people talk about. Yet, this kind of self-confidence can make a big impact on a meditator’s life. Schools who’ve implemented meditation programs have noticed this in their kids. Adult meditators have found that meditation can help them build confidence both at work and at home—as well as a deep, pervading sense of self-confidence that’s independent of context.
How can meditation help develop self-confidence?
To define self-confidence, let’s take a page from Norman Fischer:
Self- confidence isn’t egotism. . . . When you are truly self-confident, you are flexiblewith regard to ego: you can pick up ego when necessary, but you can also put it downwhen necessary in order to learn something completely new through listening. And if youfind that you can’t put ego down, at least you know that this is so. You can admit it toyourself. If takes profound self- confidence to be humble enough to recognize your own limitations without self-blame.
In other words, self-confidence is not the lack of limitations. It’s an understanding and acceptance of those limitations, while having that understanding increase rather than lessen your self-worth. Your weaknesses become a strength. They become a part of you that you can wield, rather than a part of you that you avoid looking at or need to compensate for.
That’s self-confidence.
True self-confidence has to be built on a foundation of self-awareness. This kind of self-awareness lets you understand your strengths and your weaknesses on a deep and intimate level.
A core tenant in meditation is to just observe without judgment. You’re not avoiding anything, nor are you trying to make anything happen. You’re simply observing what is.
It turns out that this is one of the best ways for peering into the inner workings of the human mind. A lot of our unconscious mental and emotional habits stay unconscious because they’re difficult to see in our hectic day to day lives. It’s only when we sit down, be still and observe ourselves in this non-judgmental manner that we can start to unravel who we are.
Eventually, this will lead to a better understanding of your strengths and limitations. And through the practice of non-judgmental observation, you’ll also condition your mind to no longer judge those limitations. Instead, you’ll start to accept them, and eventually be able to use those limitations as strengths. True understand of your limitations and strengths then becomes an effortless and subtly powerful self-confidence.
That’s how meditation can help build self-confidence. Surprisingly, one of the best ways to build self-confidence is not to focus on confidence, but on self-awareness. Meditation helps facilitate that self-awareness.